He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
