I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
