mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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