Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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