Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just invented taco cereal.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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