I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
