Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
