I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
