I wannas sexs uuuuu
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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