...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
So much rum. So many feels.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
