I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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