Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
