you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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