Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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