I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
