i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
