Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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