i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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