Im at strip club and am horny
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize