Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dick very happy bro
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
