I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Girls should come with a carfax report
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
