you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
