I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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