Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
