I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
