I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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