I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did I show you my penis last night?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
