I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
