she was so not down for the gang bang
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
