You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
