is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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