I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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