Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
