whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
