I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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