I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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