so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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