Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
