BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
