4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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