my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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