Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
