wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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