no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
