he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
