oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
