Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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