we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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