I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
