You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
