I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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