My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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