He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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