I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
