How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
