Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
