remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
