sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
