he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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