I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
