Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
God I need to hump something, right now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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