Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
