Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize