So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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