I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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