I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
