U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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