dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
