If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
COCAINE IS GR8
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
