Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
